New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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