I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
