Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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