That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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