are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
dude. I can hear the air.
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