so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
