he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
