he puts the penis in happiness.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
