The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
