whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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