forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
you never un-have a 4some
You were trust falling into bushes
I enjoy the company of your penis
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
