dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
