I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
