i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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