That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
