bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
