Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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