69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
