First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
