But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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