five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
