I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
