This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
