do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Is her dick bigger than yours?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
