I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
