I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
