dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
