i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
