And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
