How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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