Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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