Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
