well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
