College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
