Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
