STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
