I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
We need to rekindle our bromance
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
