so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
