Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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