Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
