Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Damn victory sex feels great
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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