I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
These tits shall not be calmed
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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