What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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