we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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