Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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