I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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