i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
