brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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