I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
