You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
