he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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