i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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