Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
there is puke in my bra ... again
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
