Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
