If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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