Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
