i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
