I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
