I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize