forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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